This is a frustrating time in my life,
hope you are fine boss,

Funny how people react in testing times, some panic, some break down, some run into their shells to hide.

a friend of mine recently commented to me that 'it doesn't pay to be good (a good person)', in a weird way, that's true, most of the really nice and good people die young.

but take it from another angle, my cousin once told me that those who die go to a better place, most religions belive in this, so the good are made to suffer less?

sigh, why isit that when people are around we often don't show them enough care, concern and support yet when they die others often clamor to do something for them?

What you do for others post mortem is for society to see, there's no real value to the deceased.........

I crazy thought, it is always believed that a good citizen should be law abiding and conform......but don't Patroits and Heroes normally break existing constraints and rules? ....hmmmmmmmmmm...

I just went trough a super draining lesson again in NIE, damn, i do not recall having to sit through lessons that are as boring as those i experienced in the past 8 months!

To me, it seems that at NIE, they are adopting a teaching method that is based on showing you what not to be done. one example, the instructors, i dont call them lecturers cos they are not really qualified academically, continually tell you that there is a limit to the attention span of the human mind, that no lesson should be dominated by any singular activity and that the students will switch off after 20 minutes. However, they drone on and on for not one, not two but three hours at a go!

sigh.... the only redeeming thing is that it should all be ending soon and i should be able to get back to my kids in school.....

Recently i had a debate with my dad (again), it was about feeling happy. At the end of it, I suddenly realised that i haven't felt truely happy in a very long while, makes me wonder about the meaning of this existence on earth, are we here simply to partake in the motions that propel society forward? are we here to feel the emotions that the human mind with all its intricate mesh of chemicals is capable of? are we here to be happy?

Often i find myself repeating to others that one shouldn't be too happy, actually one shouldn't be happy at all. When we are happy, we bcome too busy being happy to think.

As i walked out yesterday, i thought to myself about what happened through the day, and it dawned on me that many people move around aimlessly, without a real reason. In our modern, fast-paced society, have we forgotten what we really want? Do we know what we really want?Life works in a wonderful way, what we do is directly a result of the circumstances that we are in.

That in turn decides how the future will be. what does this actually mean? If we know what we want, we can actually plan a list of activities / steps / moves to plan and control the outcomes and to get what we want.Sounds familliar? well it should, every one of us should have a boss/ colleague who fits this profile, a go-getter who know what he/she wants... ... and in that process, uses the others who have no idea what they want to help attain their goal.

What do we normally call these people? Back-stabbers, Traitors, dogs, but hey is it their fault that they know what they want? Often i find myself in a wierd position, in my attempt to make life horrible for these traitors/ dogs/ shits/ etc., i am stuck with not being able to do what i want,... how bad isit? well i recently changed what i want ... ... hey but maybe meeting these jokers just told me what i really wanted... ...If we know what we want, do we need to ask others for their opinion? almost everyone does that byt is it really necessary? What a waste of time....ok next time then....